


Infestation

by Tiffany_Park



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Caterpillars, Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Pyromania
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29449374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiffany_Park/pseuds/Tiffany_Park
Summary: The Shinra building is invaded by mako-enhanced caterpillars.  Genesis attempts to save the day.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Infestation

**Author's Note:**

> Normally I'd call something like this 100% crack, except that it is in fact inspired by a real event that occurred in the Microbiology building of a state research university (which shall forever remain unnamed) many, many years ago. While no magic was involved, had certain faculty members and grad students possessed the ability to create and throw them, fireballs most certainly would have been deployed. With extreme prejudice. Yes, it was a department joke for months. No, it wasn't my fault. Thank Gawd.
> 
> Please forgive any clumsiness in the prose. I haven't actually written any fiction in over three years and, since a friend and I are planning an independent writing project, I'm practicing to get my chops back. LOL

* * *

**Infestation**

**By**

**Tiffany Park**

The tickling on the back of his right hand woke Genesis up.

Said hand was, at present, resting atop his left arm, which was resting on his desk. His forehead nestled atop both crossed arms. His eyes were closed and didn't want to open at all.

Not that he'd have done anything as _gauche_ as sleep at his desk while on duty. Even if it was mid-afternoon and by all rights he should be wrapping up the annoying paperwork--in triplicate!--regarding low-level materia requisitions for training the newest class of Thirds. No, he had merely dropped his head to his folded arms in order to rest his eyes. Not napping. Definitely not napping.

How did Angeal and Sephiroth manage all the wretched, Gaia-forsaken paperwork without going into a coma, or setting it on fire, or using it for sword practice, or--well, any number of destructive measures? They both always got it done in reasonable time. Genesis, on the other hand, swore that pile in his inbox--both physical and online--tripled in size every time he left the room for ten minutes. It couldn't possibly be completed during regular working hours, not even if he'd been working on it full time. 

Perhaps he shouldn't have taken that rather long break to spar with Angeal earlier.

Really, though, everyone deserved a break once in a while. He certainly did. It had helped a great deal with controlling his impulse to incinerate both inbox and computer. However, when he had returned to his office, the undiminished piles of paper that demanded his review and signature mocked him from his desk, and the glowing screen on his monitor displayed ever increasing numbers of forms and requests. He distinctly recalled groaning out loud at the sight and had actually called up a small fireball.

Since Genesis had decided it would be too much trouble to do the paperwork that was required to explain why the other paperwork had been destroyed--in triplicate, always in triplicate--he did the next best thing. He dismissed his fireball, sat down at his desk, dropped his head onto his crossed arms, closed his eyes--and swore a blue streak. It was better than whining, though that was what he really wanted to do. After running out of colorful epithets about Ifrit's balls and Shiva's tits and consigning every one of the official forms to the ninety-ninth level of the Wutaian Hells, he'd quieted and just breathed. That must have been when he'd been ambushed by the attack na--not-a-nap-just-resting-his-eyes "quiescent period."

That was a good description. He hadn't been napping. It was just a quiescent period while he mustered the energy to tackle those forms and requisitions and progress reports and mission reports and budget sheets and whatever else Shinra could come up with to waste his time and tax his sanity. Those thrice-damned forms and reports...

In triplicate.

The tickling sensation moved in a peculiar, rhythmic fashion, like some insect inching its way along his hand, disturbing the leather of his glove ever so slightly. It stopped when it had almost reaching his wrist. Might just be an odd itch, but it felt like it was sitting on the top edge of his glove. Genesis cracked one eye open and turned his head, to behold a three-inch long, teal caterpillar with yellow and black eye markings along its body and a curved horn projecting from its rear. The wretched thing rested near the cuff of his coat sleeve. It gave off a soft glow, visible against his red leather glove. Both his eyes opened as wide as physically possible and his breath stilled in his chest.

Genesis then did what any sane person from Banora who had invented a successful and marketable type of dumbapple juice (which was quite lucrative, as his parents could attest) would do.

He jumped out of his chair shrieking at the top of his lungs and shaking his arm with adrenaline-and-mako fueled violence. The caterpillar flew across the office. It bounced off the floor several times before coming to rest by the closed door. Stunned, it lay motionless.

Genesis screamed, "Gobble Bug!!!" and launched a panicky flurry of fireballs at the small insect.

The Gobble Bug exploded in a large, satisfying display of blue and green pyrotechnics. Genesis kept his eyes laser-focused on the caterpillar's fiery death until it flickered down to its last embers. 

He glanced up, scanning the ceiling for fire suppression activity. Not for the first time, he was glad he'd "desensitized" the fire alarms in his own office. Not disabled, but they shouldn't detect minor incidents, so happily his little lapse went unnoticed. He ignored the smoke and black scorch marks on the door and floor. Acceptable collateral damage, he decided. Overkill? Perhaps, but it was a _Gobble Bug_ , after all. It was worth it to be sure the little bastard was gone-gone-gone. He smiled, and replayed the glorious green and blue fireworks in his mind.

Wait. Green and Blue? The predominant colors of the exploding Gobble Bug had been green and blue? Green and blue--like mako?

_Like mako!_

The Gobble Bug had _glowed_...

The semblance of calm Genesis had regained after burning the Gobble Bug transmuted to panic at that realization. Where there was one Gobble Bug, there would be hundreds--thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions and millions--more that hadn't yet been discovered. His frantic gaze swept his office and fell upon two more caterpillars crawling up the side of his desk. Both glowed, and his panic surged again. Gobble Bugs ate just about anything, anywhere. Especially food crops. Especially Banora White leaves and apples. Just a moderate army of those bottomless maws could strip an entire orchard of Banora White trees bare in less than a day. No crop was safe from ordinary Gobble Bugs, and these--these were...

"Mako-enhanced Gobble Bugs?" he howled in horrified despair. "They'll wipe out everything! The whole world will starve!"

Not only that, but without dumbapples there would be no dumbapple juice, and his comfortable revenue stream would dry up...

The Gobble Bugs had to die. They _needed_ to die. Every single one of them. They had to be exterminated down to the very last creepy teal caterpillar.

The next volley of fireballs blew up his desk, annihilating not only the Gobble Bugs but also his other nemeses, the paperwork and the computer. Sparks, flames, and billowing black smoke filled the office, choked the air, reached the ceiling. The "desensitized" sprinkler system finally had a concentration of smoke thick enough to detect and kicked on, shrieking an alarm and dousing the entire room in a shower of cold water. It was no match for magic fire, and the desk burned merrily to a pile of ashes and metal slag.

Genesis, however, did not stick around to enjoy his latest act of arson. Uncaring of his drenched hair and clothes, he flung open his door and stalked into the hall.

He was on a mission.

* * *

Genesis would never do anything as undignified as bolting, haring, racing, or sprinting through the hallways of the Shinra HQ, but he wasn't above _striding with purpose_. _Hastening_ and _charging_ were also acceptable terms for his pace of locomotion, though not quite as heroic sounding. _Dashing_ had distinct potential as well as a dual meaning he rather fancied.

And so he strode swiftly down the hall from his office, lobbing fireballs whenever he happened to spot a bright teal caterpillar and leaving scattered scorch marks on the floors, ceilings, and walls behind him. Sprinklers spouted water while fire alarms shrieked and flashed bright warning lights. He ignored the cacophony, knowing perfectly well that there was nothing to fear--for him, at least. As for the Gobble Bugs?

The only good Gobble Bug was a dead Gobble Bug.

He'd annihilated over fifty of the creatures so far and hadn't even gotten to the stairs or elevators yet. How in the sacred name of the Goddess had so many infested the building, and how many more were there? 

Of course, a soaking wet First Class SOLDIER rampaging through the corridors while flinging explosive fire about him as sprinklers and fire alarms activated in his wake could not go unnoticed. Most flunkies who hadn't already evacuated the floor took one look at him and had the sense to flee, but a teenaged Third Class with spikey black hair and a junior science technician wearing a damp, white lab coat and a particularly limp necktie came running up to him. Idiots.

"Sir! Sir, stop!" the tech cried. He carried a glass lab flask that held a large number of the glowing green monsters.

Genesis did stop--but only to snatch the flask from the hapless technician, who let out a squawk of protest. Genesis tossed it in the air and sent out a bright flare to shatter the heat-resistant glass and incinerate the caterpillars.

Another sprinkler activated, dousing all three men in fresh showers of cold water.

The Third Class gawked at his superior, at the new and stinking mess--that many burning Gobble Bug larvae reeked in such an indescribably horrible manner that a person could actually _taste_ it in the air--and at his suddenly drenched uniform. He wiped helplessly at the moisture. The tech screeched incoherently, his eyes wide, staring at the smoke, cinders, greasy charred caterpillar remains, and scattered fragments of lab glass. "The Professor--" gasped the tech. "Oh, sweet Shiva--what did you do?"

Genesis had been reveling in the satisfaction of more dead Gobble Bugs, but his attention snapped to the tech. He glared at the hapless fool and hissed, "The Professor? Did Hojo bring these cursed things to Midgar? What on Gaia for?"

"I-It's an agricultural research project--"

"Ridiculous," Genesis snarled. Ignoring the tech, he turned to the Third Class, a rather young SOLDIER he thought seemed somewhat familiar even if he couldn't remember the kid's name to save his life. Eh, he'd probably only seen the teen during some training exercise and had never gotten a name to put to the face. There were a lot of Third Classes, after all. "You," he said, pointing at the kid for emphasis. "Go get a Fire materia and start incinerating these wretched insects down to ash. We can't have them running loose all over the building, and Goddess forbid they get out into the city."

"No!" the tech protested. "We need to capture them! Both of you, please listen to me."

The Third just stood there like a drooling moron, looking back and forth between Genesis, the tech, the flooding corridors, and the fire damage. "Sir," he ventured, hesitantly but also rather loudly to be heard over the alarms, "this doesn't seem like a practical way to go about things. Maybe we should gather some information or consult with someone before--"

The kid couldn't be more than fifteen years old and was clearly intimidated despite his protest, so Genesis gave him points for courage even in the face of his obvious idiocy. "You just go!" Genesis ordered. "Now!"

The Third jumped at the sharp snap in that command, then turned tail and ran. Genesis vaguely noted that the kid had pulled out his PHS mid-jog and was talking at it pretty rapidly, but gave it no mind. He wiped water off his face--a futile effort, as the sprinklers continued to perform their primary function with steady perfection--and scanned the walls, flooring, and ceiling. He eyed the registers for the ductwork with particular suspicion. The damned larvae could be anywhere. He supposed he could superheat the ducts and fry any bugs inside them that way. Sure, everyone would be a tad uncomfortable until the air conditioning cooled things down again, but the alternative of a hidden infestation was unacceptable.

The tech screwed up enough nerve to try again, shouting over the shrill cacophony of the fire alarm sirens: "Sir, you can't destroy the Gobble Bugs! They really are necessary for an important ag project!"

"No one in their right mind would consider mako-enhanced Gobble Bugs to be of any kind of agricultural benefit." With that, Genesis strode down the hall toward the elevators. He wasn't running--oh no, that was still too unseemly--but he did make good speed. The tech was reduced to trotting after him--quite undignified, but to be expected from a junior science flunky--and protesting shrilly with complete nonsense every step of the way.

* * *

Genesis swept through the SOLDIER floor and moved on to the next with unstoppable fury like Ifrit Himself on a drunken rampage. In the process, he destroyed fifteen more Gobble Bug caterpillars in the stairwell, eight in the elevators, and over forty on both floors, which included the walls, offices, specialized rooms, and ceilings. In his wake he left smoldering tiles, charred décor, flashing alarms, screaming sirens, and a whole lot of water damage from sprinklers that barely managed to contain the burning carnage--not to mention an annoying, jabbering flea of a tech who refused to stop following him.

He'd also recruited two more Thirds and a Second Class for his Grand Extermination Project and sent them scampering away on their own search and destroy missions. As for the other occupants, most had already evacuated due to the fire alarms. Any that had dawdled bolted for the exits as soon as they saw him. A few security guards and a smattering of lab techs armed with stoppered flasks that contained glowing blue-green caterpillars did attempt to stop him. Not that they were successful. He dispatched the flasks and their ugly contents with spectacular flare and efficiency.

After that, no one was terribly serious about putting themselves in his way, though two more of the braver techs--both women--joined forces with the annoying man who'd tailed him doggedly through two floors. He now had a small chorus of ineffectual, scientific protests caterwauling after him that he had to ignore as he searched room by room.

Soon, though, someone he could not dismiss or ignore ran him to ground.

"Genesis! Stop this!"

Angeal. Of course. It was inevitable.

Who else could come after him with any chance of success? Genesis supposed Sephiroth might also have gotten stuck with the job, except he knew Sephiroth was in Wutai and not scheduled to return for at least another day. More if things weren't going well over there.

Lucky Sephiroth. He'd probably miss the entire bug hunt. Genesis intended to be very thorough and to have it wrapped up before morning.

"Ah, my dear friend. Arriving just in time to save the day, I take it?" Genesis spread his arms wide and decided to go full on with some drama. Genesis never disappointed an audience if he could help it. "Hero of the Dawn, Healer of--"

"Just stop it already!"

So much for any appreciation from this audience. Genesis lowered his arms slowly, repressing a smirk. Judging by Angeal's glower--and the fact that he was soaking wet--amusement wouldn't go over well.

Angeal approached until he stood just a few feet in front of Genesis, stopping all progress on the extermination program, and demanded, "Just what do you think you're doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Genesis returned with what he considered admirable calm.

Angeal continued to be unappreciative. "It looks like you're trying to burn down the entire building."

An interesting idea with great appeal. It would guarantee the annihilation of all the Gobble Bugs, at any rate. "How flattering that you think so highly of my abilities. But I cannot take all the credit. I did recruit some help, after all."

Angeal folded his arms, looking cross. "Yes, I know. I ordered them all to stand down and follow the fire evacuation procedures."

"You did what? You had no right to override my--"

"Don't be an idiot! This--this crazy _rampage_ of yours could have ruined their careers! One of the Thirds you commandeered has real promise and is being fast tracked to Second. This stunt could have destroyed his entire future in SOLDIER!"

"He would have been fine. They all would have been." Genesis shrugged and added cynically, "They were following orders from a superior officer, that's all. No one would blame them for that."

"Illegal orders!" Angeal ranted in exasperation. "It's completely dishonorable to willfully ruin their--"

"Oh, don't you lecture me! This is--"

"Wait!" The science trio behind Genesis, wisely silent during this confrontation--it might have been terror rather than wisdom, Genesis conceded, but the effect was the same--suddenly found their courage and their tongues once more. A confused din of babbled explanations, complaints, and entreaties erupted, successfully overriding the previous conversation, but the techs were all jabbering over the top of each other and none of their words were comprehensible.

"Quiet!" Angeal thundered, fists clenched.

Genesis raised his brows. Guess his friend was at the limits of his patience.

The techs went absolutely still, eyes wide, staring at Angeal and barely breathing. They looked like shocked deer caught in some oversized military truck's glaring headlights. Genesis snorted. It seemed their previous silence had been due to terror rather than wisdom, after all. There was no denying that Angeal was physically imposing, and when he lost his temper and resorted to shouting, he could bring down the rafters.

Amusingly, at almost the same moment the fire alarms and sprinklers also shut off, probably because the previous fires were finally extinguished and Genesis hadn't set any new ones recently. Water dripped from the ceiling and slid down the walls. The people and their surroundings might be drenched, but at least no new water cascaded down on them.

"Now, will someone tell me--calmly--what in Odin's name this is really all about?" Angeal asked, quieter, though his voice was still raised and sounding more than a little stressed.

Familiar, creeping movements behind Angeal caught Genesis's eye. He lunged forward, grabbed his surprised friend by the shoulders and spun him around. "There!" he said with righteousness, pointing at the floor where no fewer than five glowing Gobble Bug larvae inched along, oblivious to the upheaval they and their fellows had wrought. "That's the problem!"

Angeal's stunned gasp of "Gobble Bugs?" told Genesis that his friend at last understood exactly what was at stake. Angeal had been raised in Banora, too, and came from a working class family, besides. He understood very well the fragility of cash crops and the terrible dangers of lost revenue that the vile little monsters posed. Families like his were always living on the edge and might easily starve if the main industries were wiped out.

Not that Genesis would ever let Angeal or his mother starve.

"See the glow? They're mako enhanced," Genesis hissed into Angeal's ear. "Those fools in Science--"

He never got a chance to finish. Angeal sprang forward and before Genesis could even blink had stomped the caterpillars into blue-green goo with his right foot.

At least he gave the nasty menaces the serious treatment they deserved.

Angeal made a comical face and some guttural, disgusted noises as he lifted his leg and examined the goopy caterpillar guts clogging his boot's tread. "Blech. I did not think that through."

Behind Genesis, one of the techs uttered a pathetic sob. The other two remained frozen, probably still too intimidated to break their silence.

"Your instincts were not wrong in this case," Genesis said dryly. "I take it you didn't realize I was exterminating Gobble Bugs?"

With revulsion, Angeal continued to inspect the goo on his boot. "I just knew you were practically burning down the building to kill a few insects of some sort. No one was very clear on the subject. They were all too...alarmed...by your activities," he said carefully, not looking up.

By alarmed, Genesis assumed Angeal had meant "deranged, hysterical, and incoherent." Genesis clenched his fingers into a fist, calling up a comfortable, comforting heat. "Aim the bottom of your foot this way. I want to take a look and make sure the bugs are dead."

Unthinking, Angeal did exactly as requested. An instant later he hopped back, yowling and hastily pulling off his flaming boot, while new alarms went off and fresh showers of cold water doused everyone in the hallway. "You did that on purpose!" He flung the burning footwear away from him and let the sprinklers handle it. "Why the fucking hell did you set my foot on fire?!" He hopped on his remaining boot, shaking with rage, which also served to shake some of the excess water off him, though it was immediately replaced by Shinra's very efficient sprinkler system.

Ah, Angeal was cursing. Whoops. Probably should have warned him before incinerating the caterpillar guts on his boot. Oh, well.

"Angeal," Genesis said with exaggerated patience, "they're mako-enhanced Gobble Bugs. You can't trust them to really be dead just from getting squished. We're tougher than normal and heal fast, so maybe they do, too. I'm rendering them all down to ash, including the guts on your foot." Genesis had gotten so used to being wet that he barely noticed it, and steadfastly did not laugh at his friend, who was soaked to the bone, balancing on one foot, and glaring death at him.

"Don't you think that's overkill?" Angeal snarled, not amused at all. Wet hair hung in his eyes. He tossed his head rather violently several times to fling the strands aside.

Genesis shrugged without remorse. "It's the only way to be sure."

Angeal scowled. It probably would have terrorized anyone but Genesis and the trio of science techs who, by now, seemed to have become numb to fear--or at least were running out of the energy needed to maintain that fear. No one can stay in a heightened state of fright forever, and Genesis figured at this point they ought to be nearing their limits.

One of the women proved his supposition by losing her own temper and bursting out, "Now that you've both gotten whatever this bullshit is out of your systems, will you please listen to me? You cannot just run through the Shinra building setting all the Gobble Bugs on fire!"

"Why not?" Genesis asked, looking down his nose at her. Despite having at least a decade on him, she couldn't be more than five feet four inches tall, so staring her down was quite natural and not arrogant, contemptuous, or disrespectful. Not at all.

The drop of water dangling from the tip of his nose didn't help with his supercilious posturing, however.

"Genesis, shut up," Angeal growled, gingerly setting his stockinged foot down. It squished in the puddles covering the floor, and he grimaced. "Let her speak. I want to know what's going on and how to solve it without any more mayhem." He wiped water off his face--not a very successful activity with those leather gloves and the active sprinklers--and looked at the tech. "You have my attention. Start talking."

"As we've been trying to explain all along," she said, gesturing at her two dripping wet compatriots, "the Gobble Bug larvae are an integral part of a series of agricultural experiments."

"And as I've said before, that is arrant nonsense," Genesis huffed. "No one in any agricultural community wants _normal_ Gobble Bugs around, let alone _enhanced_ ones!"

"I told you to _shut up_ , Genesis!" Angeal snarled viciously, looking ready to commit soggy murder. The continual showers and screeching alarms probably weren't helping his mood. Deciding discretion really was the better part of valor, Genesis wiped the water from his nose, then folded his arms across his chest and subsided into a not-quite-defiant sulk.

Thankfully, at that point the sprinklers and alarms shut off again. 

Angeal heaved a deep sigh of relief at the cessation of both noise and showers. In a more normal tone of voice, he said to the tech, "Continue."

She swallowed, eyed Genesis with concern, then shifted her focus only to Angeal. Not that his presence was any more reassuring at the moment, but Genesis assumed she believed Angeal wouldn't set her on fire.

"Um, right," she tried again. "You see, as you know, Gobble Bugs are a serious problem for agricultural industries almost everywhere on the Planet. We've been tasked with finding ways to eradicate them, or at least to control them with better pesticides."

"Shinra isn't an ag company," Angeal remarked. Genesis sneered at what he considered a rather naïve comment. Shinra would get its tentacles into anything that might create profit. He doubted the executives would balk at agriculture and pest control if they thought there was enough money in it.

"Not normally, no," the tech said. "But we've been told it's a goodwill gesture. The company doesn't have the best reputation in some of the outlying areas."

Even Angeal the Dedicated SOLDIER scoffed a little at that one. Genesis grinned, baring teeth.

The tech twitched. "Anyway, it seems to be a practical PR move. If the Shinra company can help control pests in farming communities..."

Genesis said cynically, "And it'll create a profitable new product line, right?

She shrugged. "Probably."

Angeal asked, "But why are these specimens enhanced with mako?" He ran his hand through his hair, and water cascaded to the floor.

The tech said, "Many of the most productive agricultural areas have mako running close to the surface. It's often been observed that it seems to improve plant growth. You're both from Banora, right?" When they nodded, she continued, "You know there's a lot of mako close to the surface there, and the whole area relies heavily on dumbapple production. There are theories among the experts that perhaps it's possible for insect pests to absorb some surface mako incidentally. We wanted to know what it would take to handle a worst-case scenario like that, so we enhanced some of the larvae as test subjects. Honestly, we thought you'd be pleased that we were thinking of places like your hometown."

"And how many are 'some' of the larvae?" Angeal asked.

She gnawed her lip, looking nervous again. "Just a thousand."

Genesis squawked, "A thousand enhanced Gobble Bugs running free in the building? Are you insane?"

"No one was expecting a mass escape!" the tech protested.

"Obviously," Angeal said dryly. He rubbed his forehead and sighed again. "I'm not even going to ask how they got out of the labs."

"Everyone on the project is scouring the building. Last time I checked, about a third of the larvae had already been recaptured," she hastened to reassure him. "We should have them all contained again in a few hours. There's no need to destroy them!" She gave Genesis a sidelong glance.

"Or the building with them," Angeal murmured. "All right, go about your business. No one from SOLDIER will interfere with your hunting efforts." He held up a hand to stop Genesis's next outburst, and the three techs scurried away with an interesting mix of relief and paranoia on their faces.

"Angeal!" Genesis protested. "Are you crazy?"

"Genesis," his friend said quietly, "you heard her. She's correct. Banora does have mako running close to the surface. It really has been speculated that the dumbapples grow so well there for that reason. We both know this."

"Yes, and the dumbapple harvests and sales are exactly why raising super Gobble Bugs is a horrible idea!"

"Or, as that tech said, someday we might end up with naturally enhanced Gobble Bugs. Finding new ways to control the insect population isn't a bad idea. Banora might need those advances someday."

"Don't tell me you buy that ridiculous story. It's an obvious cover for something nefarious. C'mon, it's the Science Department!"

Angeal shrugged, looking resigned. "Genesis, just leave it alone. Please." He rubbed his forehead.

"You're an idiot."

"Perhaps, but there's nothing to be done, is there?" Angeal considered him for a moment, then appeared to come to a decision. He sighed yet again and held out a hand. "Your materia."

"What?"

"You heard me. Give me all of it, not just the Fire. No more destruction allowed today."

"I'll feel naked without my favorite materia!"

"Good." Angeal was adamant and entirely unsympathetic. "Hand it over. I won't leave you alone until you do, and I have a million things on my plate now thanks to your tantrums."

"Fine." Grumbling, Genesis gave him several shining orbs. When he got to his Fire materia, he really didn't want to let it go, but Angeal stared at him implacably. After a brief but silent contest of wills, Genesis relented and dropped it into Angeal's waiting palm.

"You can have it back in a day or two, when the Gobble Bugs are taken care of and you've calmed down." Angeal pocketed the materia then turned on his heel and headed toward the elevators. He stopped partway down the corridor to look forlornly at the charred remains of his boot. He bent slowly and picked it up, dangling it pointedly from the thumb and forefinger of his left hand. Murky, soot-tinted water dripped from it.

It seemed Angeal was capable of a little drama of his own. Genesis refused to feel the slightest bit guilty. "Where are you going?"

Angeal didn't bother turning around. "First, to change into a dry uniform. Then to find Director Lazard to run some damage control. I'm sure he's already heard about this fiasco," came the long-suffering reply. "There are bound to be even more complaints coming in today. Unless you fancy whatever punishment he can cook up in retaliation for your antics?"

Genesis hadn't considered that problem.

"Not that you'll get off entirely," Angeal added, "but I think I can at least keep you from being banished to KP duty in some third-rate company kitchen Gaia-knows-where."

* * *

True to his word, Angeal had managed to explain the problem well enough to Lazard to prevent Genesis's exile to parts both unknown and unpleasant. Knowing Angeal, probably he had not lied, but rather told the exact truth. Just perhaps slanted in certain ways, with maybe some careful omissions.

Whatever Angeal had said to Lazard had been so persuasive that Genesis didn't even have to cover any punitive damages. His paycheck would remain intact. A major miracle, that. He'd expected the company to garnish his pay for months to cover at least some of the destruction he'd caused.

Angeal still hadn't mentioned what excuses, explanations, cajolery, or promises had been required to save Genesis's skin, and that was a bad sign. Genesis knew he wasn't going to be forgiven for his sins for a long, long time. He also figured that a bit of groveling would be in order at some point.

He hadn't gotten away without any punishments, though. Angeal hadn't been that persuasive. Genesis scowled as he dunked his cleaning brush in the bucket of soapy water and scraped at the greasy scorch mark on the bare floor.

Cleaning. That was now his number one duty. Nonstop cleaning of smelly, charred spots where he'd incinerated the mako-enhanced Gobble Bugs. Some of those spots were in the damnedest places--like the ceiling. Ladders had become one of the new tools in Genesis's arsenal, along with scrub brushes, scrapers, soap, buckets, rags, kneepads, degreaser--it was completely insulting. That Lazard had a fiendish sense of humor. He'd probably started laughing his ass off from the very moment he'd decided on the torture and hadn't stopped since. Sadistic bastard.

Damn, but his knees hurt from all the kneeling on hard surfaces, even with kneepads to cushion the pressure. Crouching, Genesis had discovered, hurt just as bad if it went on too long. He had learned to alternate his positions whenever he had to scrub at a spot low to the ground or on the flooring.

At least professional remediation crews had been hired to handle the water damage and replace the furniture and floors. Likely nobody trusted him with anything more than some unskilled manual labor. They'd be repainting and replacing the flooring as soon as Genesis scrubbed off the last burns.

If only there weren't so much running commentary while he worked.

"--You should have seen it," Angeal was saying to Sephiroth. "He had these three science techs following him around. They looked for all the world like a trio of baby ducklings waddling after their mama duck." He chortled. "It was sure wet enough for ducks to feel right at home!"

Naturally, Sephiroth hadn't been delayed at all in Wutai, and had come home right on schedule. Any hopes Genesis had nurtured of being finished with the ignominious cleaning before his rival showed up to witness this humiliation had gone down the tubes with Sephiroth's return.

With insincere curiosity, Sephiroth asked, "But did they quack like ducks? It's not really a duck if it doesn't quack, right?"

"They squawked a lot, especially whenever Genesis fried another Gobble Bug."

"That's chickens. Or chocobos--no wait, they don't squawk, they wark. Or is it 'kweh?' I've never studied chocobos that closely."

Laughing, Angeal conceded, "I suppose it doesn't matter. Couldn't understand a word those techs were saying most of the time, they were all so shrill and screeching over the top of one another."

"That's quite the mental image."

Genesis heaved a deep, exasperated sigh. "Don't you two have someplace else to be?" He dropped his scrub brush into the bucket, stood up with creaky movements, and turned to face his tormentors. Neither of his so-called friends had risked leaning on the freshly scrubbed walls, which still hadn't dried from being cleaned yet. Angeal had his arms folded over his chest and his head cocked at a jaunty angle. Sephiroth simply stood beside Angeal, hands relaxed by his sides. Both jackasses radiated smug amusement.

Sephiroth raised a brow and had the nerve to recite Loveless: "Pride is lost, wings stripped away, the end is nigh."

"Oh, shut up." That particular quotation hit entirely too close to the mark.

"Temper, temper," Angeal chided. He was far too happy for Genesis's liking. Probably still mad about his boot. Genesis reminded himself that Angeal was the sole reason he was only cleaning and not banished to somewhere inhospitable to do flat-out horrible duties. It kept him from saying anything insulting.

"I'd like to know more about the Glorious Caterpillar Massacre," said Sephiroth with such a straight face that Genesis knew for certain he was being goaded. "Was it heroic and epic? Torching caterpillars?"

"The sprinklers were certainly epic," Angeal said, twisting his lips into a grimace. "Don't ever set them off if you can avoid it. The water in those pipes is freezing."

Genesis grumbled, glaring at Sephiroth, "I'm sure Angeal can fill you in on all the gory details _somewhere else_."

"But I want to hear everything about this heroic tale from the primary source. Angeal says he only got involved near the end of the action." And now Sephiroth finally dropped his impassive expression and smiled.

There was definitely something a little evil about that particular smile.

"I've already been told that not only did you get him drenched in cold water, but you also set his foot on fire," Sephiroth continued. "And that he confiscated your materia the way an adult would take a loaded handgun away from an irresponsible child. Really, Genesis?"

Genesis refused to dignify that with any kind of response. He'd only look weak and foolish, and he was still convinced that he'd done the right thing. If those Gobble Bugs could escape the science geeks once, there was every possibility they'd find a way out again. He glared at his adversaries. If looks could burn in any kind of literal fashion, both Sephiroth and Angeal would spontaneously combust into human torches. When that didn't happen, no matter how hard he wished, Genesis gave a haughty sniff, turned his back on the irritating pair of them, and picked up his scrub brush once more.

Behind him, Sephiroth asked Angeal, "Did you ever return his materia to him?"

"Nope," Angeal said cheerfully. "He doesn't get any of it back until all the scorch marks are gone. Lazard's orders."

"That was wise."

"I thought so, too."

Genesis ground his teeth and applied himself to cleaning.

* * *

**_Meanwhile..._ **

"What a fucking mess." Scarlet scowled and paced along the length of a lab bench furiously.

"It will be cleaned up in another day or two. The remediation and restoration crews are working around the clock." Hojo tapped a pen against his chin, finding her rants a waste of valuable energy.

"I wasn't talking about furniture and paint!" she hissed. "I was talking about this ridiculous joint bioweapons project between our two departments and its never-ending string of absurd events. This is just the latest stupidity."

"Ah. Well, in that case, I for one find the current situation to be a blessing in disguise. We now have fewer specimens, and thus fewer reasons to work together. The less we have to see one another, the better." Hojo moved to a set of controls and switched on a few pieces of electronic jamming equipment. This conversation already bore the hallmarks of one that shouldn't be heard by unauthorized ears--namely, anyone at all in the absurdly named Shinra Electric Power Company who might have set up some bugs. Hojo worked hard to keep his labs free of illicit recording devices, but the never-ending sweeps were an exhausting, ongoing maintenance nightmare, prone to error and false negatives no matter how thorough. Thus, one couldn't be too careful.

"I don't like working together any more than you do, but our beloved President doesn't want to let his pet idea go. 'It could be pivotal to the war effort,'" she parroted with absolute loathing. "Imagine! Gobble Bugs being pivotal to the Wutai War! It's disgusting. The whole thing should be junked."

"Yes, yes, I know you like your mechs and giant robot guns much better than actual living creatures."

"Don't patronize me. It's not like you have any particular fondness for living creatures. Don't tell me you enjoy experimenting on those worms?" She looked around the lab. "Though a lot of your own projects are pretty repugnant, so maybe enhancing worms is right up your alley?"

"They are not 'worms.' They are Goliath Yellow-Eye Horned Beetle larvae, and the full scientific name is--"

"Bah, stop dribbling that pedantic trivia at me."

Amused by her anger, Hojo let out a wheezy laugh. "As you wish."

Scarlet reacted to his contempt and her own aggravation in her usual way: she put her hands on her hips and spewed out a stream of aggravated curses. Hojo ignored the improbable insults, instead eyeing her heaving cleavage, always presented to best advantage by those ridiculous, low cut gowns she wore to work. He wasn't immune to such wide expanses of exposed female flesh--he wasn't dead, after all--but he did know how to compartmentalize mere animal instincts in favor of more important subjects, and kept his favorable opinions on her unprofessional attire to himself.

"How did the damned caterpillars escape, anyway?" Scarlet demanded when she ran out of invective.

This he knew quite well, to his great regret. "The larvae are kept in an incubation room, in clear plastic cups covered by thin cardboard lids with some airholes. There is a stick down the center for the larvae to cling to, and for their special diet cubes to be skewered on," he stated, aware that he merely repeated information she already knew and abhorred. Then he came to the data she didn't have: "Apparently, whoever fed them last didn't tamp down the lids tightly enough."

"So the Gobble Bugs pushed too hard and the lids popped off, and away they went. They managed to get all over the entire building before anyone realized what happened! And then Rhapsodos went on his arson spree, besides." She actually snarled. "I hope you disciplined your incompetent minion!"

"Oh, he won't make that mistake again, I assure you." Hojo uttered a nasty, nasal giggle, but it was just for show. In reality, he hadn't done a thing to the man. Hojo was a firm believer in taking advantage of serendipitous opportunities. He would have gleefully promoted that careless tech had the Gobble Bugs all been destroyed in such a felicitous way that wouldn't result in any blame being cast on him. Alas, that hadn't happened, and though the number of larvae had been reduced significantly, the tedious project would need to continue for a while longer.

Breeding and enhancing Gobble Bugs as bioweapons. Honestly, what rubbish. It was unworthy of his genius and his department's precious resources. He thought of the wasted budget and repressed a grimace. Perhaps there was a way to divert some of that lovely money to more interesting and fruitful projects. Half the directors in Shinra engaged in varying amounts of creative accounting, himself and Scarlet included. But how to disguise the evidence when the President himself was so invested in the Gobble Bug project? It would require a bit of thought.

"Good," Scarlet huffed. "As it is, we only recovered about sixty percent of the miserable things! Rhapsodos recruited some underlings to help him kill all those worms. I'm surprised they got to so many before they were stopped."

"Unfortunately, we didn't lose enough of the larvae to warrant killing the project. A shame that pyromaniac was so inefficient, or so amenable to reason when confronted by his peer."

"Inefficient? It almost sounds like you wanted the worms released where he'd notice them..." Scarlet trailed off suggestively, cocking an eyebrow at him.

"Not at all." Hojo waved a dismissive hand and pretended he hadn't ever indulged in such a fond fantasy. "The President wouldn't have liked that the least little bit. As you have pointed out, he currently believes that ravaging the food production in Wutai is the best way to bring those backwards fools to their knees."

"I can't deny the core thesis isn't completely absurd," Scarlet allowed with reluctance. "Starving people don't put up as much of a fight as healthy ones, and mako-enhanced Gobble Bugs have enormous appetites, as well as being hard to kill with normal methods. They're immune to every pesticide we've tested! A least a quarter of the population of Wutai would die out from starvation and disease, and the rest of the conquest would be easy."

"Yes, but we've discussed this before. There is no way to restrict the larvae to Wutai. They will spread almost everywhere on the Planet, eventually. It's foolishness. We'd destroy our own food crops if we let the larvae loose, as well as those of Wutai."

She tapped an elegantly manicured fingernail against her artfully painted red lips. "This project does deserve to die, along with this unnatural collaboration between Weapons Development and the Science Department. Perhaps that old fool Shinra would be pacified by a new product line? It's our cover story and besides, we really have developed a couple of new pesticides that are quite effective against normal Gobble Bugs, even if they don't inconvenience those miserable enhanced ones."

"Do you believe he'd accept that in lieu of starving Wutai into submission?" Hojo didn't think so. The President loved money more than anything else in the world, but supplying pesticides to farming communities wouldn't be anywhere near as profitable as being the Planet's sole monopoly for energy. He'd be quite willing to sell the pesticides in addition to pacifying Wutai, but as a substitute for his current obsession? Unlikely.

Scarlet winced and gnawed her lower lip, smearing the bright red tint of her lipstick on her teeth. She knew President Shinra well enough to draw the same conclusions as Hojo. "No, probably not. But we could offer it to appease him when this project ultimately fails. Maybe we really should hurry that failure along. Engineer another release in the building--a carefully coordinated one this time. Let that insane hothead and his friends go nuts. Or would it look too suspicious a second time around?"

"It would. Besides, I doubt Rhapsodos would be so obliging again. I understand he has been reprimanded by Director Lazard and is currently suffering an undignified punishment." That really was too bad, Hojo thought. Rhapsodos had unwittingly proven himself the perfect tool to destroy the larvae and the project.

"Maybe the other one from Banora? Hewley? I bet he hates Gobble Bugs as much as Rhapsodos." She tittered. "I heard through the grapevine that he killed a few himself. And here I thought he was the most levelheaded of those First Class crazies. Or at least not as destructive as the other two."

Hojo bristled at the calculated and unmistakable slur against his own favorite creation, but wouldn't give the malicious witch the satisfaction of knowing she'd elicited a reaction from him. He sneered instead--sneers came naturally to him, and after enduring months in close association with her on this shared bioweapons project, he'd made Scarlet his favorite target. "I assure you that Sephiroth is quite levelheaded. In any case, according to the _official_ reports, and not your unreliable, scurrilous gossip, Hewley is the one who talked Rhapsodos down and stopped him from incinerating every last larva he could find."

"Reason enough to resent Hewley, then, for screwing up a golden opportunity to get rid of this joke of a project. Backwater hicks, the pair of them."

"On that, we can agree." Since he and Scarlet were on the same wavelength about eliminating the Gobble Bug project, Hojo decided to encourage her thought processes by adding, "We'll just have to find another way to get the project cancelled, assuming the President doesn't finally come to his senses when he sees the latest reports on the impossibility of controlling enhanced larvae in the wild. I doubt even he would be thrilled with starving our own people."

"Right," Scarlet agreed cynically. "It's bad for business to kill everyone. No workers for him to use and abuse, or customers to buy his mako power. No profit in that. That would be a problem in Wutai, too, since if too many of them starve there won't be any power customers there, either." She frowned in thought. "I still like the idea of using those SOLDIERs to wreck the project and take the fall. They're good at wrecking things."

"I do not like that idea." Not if it meant Sephiroth might fall with his friends. "Not even if it could work a second time. Which, as we have already discussed, it won't."

"What won't work a second time?" an unwelcome voice chimed in.

Hojo turned around slowly and leveled a flat stare at the newcomer. Bright red hair, facial tattoos, disrespectful attitude, unmistakable black suit. A Turk. An unkempt one, at that, with ridiculous, useless goggles on his forehead. Absurd. And he was carrying a--what was that? A glass jar? The Turk's name was on the tip of Hojo's tongue, but he couldn't quite remember it. Or he'd blocked it out. That was more likely. Why else would his superb memory fail him?

"Oh, joy. It's the obnoxious one," Scarlet commented with a roll of her heavily made up eyes. "Reno, I believe?"

"At your service." Reno gave her a mocking bow.

Hojo felt his lip curl. "Turks," he said with deepest disgust. "What are you wasting our time with now?"

"Just an errand, yo. I've got a gift for you from my boss." With this proclamation, Reno grinned cheekily and held out the jar. Holes had been poked in the lid. A glowing caterpillar napped within. "I'm to inform you that you need to keep your little darlings under better control. He found this one inside a file cabinet."

Scarlet knit her brows and said, "I thought they were all accounted for." Nonetheless, she accepted the jar. "I don't suppose you've bugged the bug," she asked archly.

"A caterpillar? Nah, too gross."

"We'll be destroying it, anyway."

"Whatever floats your boat. Anyhow, you science guys need to keep better track of your playthings. If you don't want to confine your pets to their kennels, maybe you should've let Rhapsodos finish them off instead of sending staff out to collect them. Wasn't that a blast? Quite a fiery event, wouldn't you say? Explosive!" Reno waggled his eyebrows.

Scarlet threw Hojo a meaningful look.

Hojo ignored her. "Get out," he said to Reno.

Reno treated them both to a contemptuous little wave and made a quick exit.

Hojo wondered if his anti-surveillance gear needed to be upgraded again. The timing of Reno's arrival had been a little too coincidental. He'd assign someone to look into it.

Scarlet glowered at the jar in her hand. The caterpillar woke up and became engaged in climbing up the smooth glass sides. "Repulsive invertebrate."

"The larva or the Turk?" Hojo couldn't resist asking, just to needle her a bit.

"Both."

*** * * End * * ***

**_February 2021_ **


End file.
